


a flicker in the dark

by reinasolo



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Angst, Drama, F/M, Force Bond, Post-Star Wars: The Last Jedi, Pregnancy (Implied), Secret Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-19
Updated: 2018-12-19
Packaged: 2019-09-22 15:52:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,254
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17062607
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/reinasolo/pseuds/reinasolo
Summary: Their bond was still there. He could feel it like a flicker of flame at the end of flayed string, still trying to hold on. The burn kept his skin warm. He refused to let it die out.





	a flicker in the dark

**Author's Note:**

  * For [roamingbadger](https://archiveofourown.org/users/roamingbadger/gifts).



Kylo Ren stared out of the viewport of ship into the dark expanse of space. His eyes were lost. Some under his command rumored his rumination to be dark—to be dead, that he existed, but he wasn't living. That was okay. He didn’t owe them anything when they answered to him.   
  
They were fools, they would never understand. It was better that way.   
  
They would never know that he was looking for her. _For Rey_.  
  
They could never know. No one else was worthy enough to be inside their world, to share their special connection.  
  
He turned everything else off, limiting distraction and keeping his barriers open, hoping to find a touch of her within their connection.  
  
Their bond was still there. He could feel it like a flicker of flame at the end of flayed string, still trying to hold on. The burn kept his skin warm. He refused to let it die out.  
  
Rey could run.  
  
She could hide.  
  
But she couldn’t shut him out, not completely.   
  
Because he let it become his consolation. He was desperate enough to hold onto anything he could get. As long as she continued to breathe their situation could no longer be denied.  
  
As of late the connection had been angry, throbbing, trying to send a message he couldn't decipher. It was delivered like a ship that jerked into position when coming out of hyperspace. He had never felt anything like it before. It was overwhelming, something bigger than the both of them and something with the possibility to be even better. It clawed at his insides while simultaneously making him feel like he could float on a cloud. He felt pride at the power emanated. Therefore he felt a compulsion to protect it.  
  
It didn’t make sense.   
  
The crack in his exterior expanded.  
  
Kylo tried to find Rey. He knew his determination was in vain but that never stopped him before. He called out to Rey relentlessly, attempted to push through to her Force signature, begging her for a sign. He pulled out all the stops to prompt a reaction from her.  
  
_Are you there? I know you’re there. You don’t have to hide._ _  
_  
_Talk to me._ _  
__  
__I know you're angry with me._ _  
_ _  
__Please. Say something._ _  
__  
__Please… I shouldn’t have to say that. I shouldn’t have to beg, but I do it for you. Only for you._ _  
_ _  
__Let me know you're alright._ _  
_ _  
__Tell me where you are._ _  
__  
__My sources say The Resistance has dwindled, your numbers have lessened considerably and your resources are next to nothing. You won’t make it far. The_ Millennium Falcon _stands out in crowded places. Turn yourselves in before it gets worse. Turn yourself in and you’ll never have to want for anything again. Don’t put yourself back on Jakku, Rey._ _  
_ _  
__I don't know why I'm trying this hard, you hurt me too. You let me think you'd come with me. You left me._ _  
__  
__TELL ME!_ _  
_   
She talked back to him, but her reactions were all in his head. They were everything he imagined and more.  
  
_Why should I talk to you? Give me a good reason._ _  
_ _  
__Tell me something I don't know._ _  
_ _  
__What do you want me to say?_ _  
___  
I never asked for this, for any of it. I don’t want that.

 _Why do you care? I thought taking your rightful place was more important._ _  
_ _  
__You really think I'm stupid enough to give you my location? You should know better._ _  
__  
__How dare you?! Don’t you ever speak to me about Jakku again! Just because you know what happened to my parents doesn’t mean you get to take shots at my life. We may not have a lot but at least I don’t have to wake up each day dreading what I’m going to do for my next meal, not anymore. I have more safety and comfort than I’ve ever had, but you wouldn’t know what that’s like since you ran away from your family…. Ben…._ _  
_ _  
__You need to help yourself instead of trying so much with me… And I thought you'd come with me too. We both lost._ _  
_  
_You don’t need to yell. I’m not telling you anything!_  
  
In the end, neither of them got what they wanted. Their visions were mere fantasy, getting them to the right point to take down Snoke. The hope for more was left in the dust, the catalyst that greeted them like a perfect stranger. Deception had never been more appealing.    
  
Several months, possibly more, had passed since Kylo and Rey last saw each other, but time became another lost facet of his past. Maybe it was the benefit of his position of power. Though he supposed it was rather fortuitous, as he was already familiar with navigating his way through the dark.   
  
The feeling that followed him continued to grow; he would even swear it kicked sometimes. It nagged at him. Kylo glowered and spoke out loud to no one and nothing that he wished it would stop.  
  
_Is that really necessary? You don’t need to do that._ _  
__  
__Is it you Rey? Are you doing this?_ _  
__  
__Is someone doing this to you?_ _  
__  
__Why is this happening?_ _  
__  
__I don’t like it._ _  
__  
__Why must you torture me like this?_ _  
_  
“Only you would think of this as torture.”  
  
He gasped and unconsciously bit down on his tongue, applying enough pressure until he bled. His surroundings spun around him and he memorized her words, repeated on a loop in his head.    
  
The flicker reignited.  
  
A flame spread.  
  
Tension curled and Rey’s voice called out to him again, only it was strained, screaming out in pain. It was enough for a tear to leak out and drip down his cheek.   
  
Kylo had to get to her. _Now_.  
  
He exhaled and reached out using the Force. He was finally pulled through the dark space and it transformed as he went, taking him to Rey; black turned to light, the sun blared down on him, the soothing sounds of a streaming lake reverberated, birds chirped in the sky, and for the first time since he was a child, Kylo breathed in fresh air. He was met with hope, hitting him like a greeting from a familiar.  
  
He was brought to Amidala’s lake house on Naboo.  
  
He sucked in a breath.  
  
He went around a corner and there she was. The sight of her shocked him and he took a step back. She was absolutely ruined and he was not sure he recognized her at first.    
  
Rey was laid out on a couch, her back propped against the arm rest. Her breathing was heavy and uncontrolled, sweat clung to her face like a second skin, loose fabric of a night dress a size too big fell off her shoulder, and a small, bloody lump of flesh wailed in the cocoon of her arms.   
  
A baby.  
  
Their… baby… He could feel it already. The ache that followed him in recent months had come to fruition.  
  
But it wasn’t possible. They never got that close. Never. His knees buckled and his legs went down, dragging his body to the floor.    
  
“H-How?” Kylo stuttered.   
  
“I don’t know.”

“Have you been here… alone? Did you…”

“Yes,” Rey said in a direct tone, not offering up a further explanation, keeping her focus on the baby.

Kylo’s body shook. He couldn’t help himself and let out a sob. It came back to him all at once.  
  
_“You’re not alone.”_ _  
_ _  
_ _“Neither are you.”_   
  
_Their hands reached out and when they touched, the stars were reborn that night._

**Author's Note:**

> [@roamingbadger](https://archiveofourown.org/users/roamingbadger), happy new year! I combined a couple of your prompts and used some of your other notes. I hope you like it.
> 
> Thanks to my beta, Jacqueline! Check her out on [Tumblr](https://jackiestarsister.tumblr.com/), [FanFiction](https://www.fanfiction.net/u/2763992/JackieStarSister), and [DeviantArt](https://www.deviantart.com/jackiestarsister)


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